Imaginary Mao II

our first date - what a write-off! i even bought you flowers - you selfish man! you could have told me you'd double-booked - hell! million-booked more like it boy you had a nerve making all of us line up like school-kids in our uniforms hand in hand boys & girls two by two round & round the square for hours on end! as my two red flowers wilted in the spring sunshine i practised my lines - i'd been rehearsing them for weeks - no - years! oh you heartless man! as i walked up the steps i couldn't stop myself from grinning like a young man in love - how wrong i was! we were ushered into the first of several chambers & i placed my offering my bouquet amongst the thousands of other bouquets all bought from the same stall & all destined to return there - recycling my love wish - what gall! then came the moment i had been waiting for - a private moment - some moment that was! ha! i didn't even get a look in did i? frog-marched past your bed with nary a chance to utter sweet nothings or love poems - oh yes i'd written you a poem or two - don't try and deny the connection we once - once! - had - pitiless man! man with a glowing orange face! was that a hint of embarrassment or was it shame? i hope so but won't die hoping you remembered me at all - eyes closed as if trying to ignore me - i mean, please! at least make some kind of effort some kind of attempt at being interested in what i might have to say - what i'm feeling! that's right - i still feel something - though it's complicated now by the obvious rejection that you tailor-made for me - oh have a heart! or did they cut that out the instant you passed from fanzine pin-up status to icon? well i didn't bother purchasing anything from your crummy gift shop thinking of all those hearts you've broken - i mean shattered! including this one - this lonely miserable rejected heart of mine won't stand for much more of your philandering ways - your smug i'm-going-to- pretend-i'm-asleep palaver - just give it a rest okay? oh & while we're on the subject you owe me three Y for the flowers creep - you've got my account details - so transfer the freaking money slime ball - don't make me come back - you know what happened last time - & i'm sure neither of us want a repeat of that tragic scene - so i guess this is our last goodbye - such a short journey from ni hao to bye bye - well ha! bye bye mao!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Before ... and ... after!

Image
I got my haircut just before leaving Australia on July 1 and, until last week, hadn't had it cut since. Okay, so it's only been four months but as you can hopefully see from the image above it was developing nicely into a Steve Winwood style, with a touch of bogan at the back. Normally I keep it pretty short however and the major question was whether I would be able to stop myself from getting it cut before returning to Australia, presumably looking a little more like Tom Hanks in Castaway . I needn't have troubled myself worrying about it. Last Thursday night I got a call from an American friend named Sean, with whom I share quite a few musical tastes, and with whom I had some great conversations that night in the suitably-named Ho Bar in Hongdae, including one where we assigned 1970s bands to colours of the rainbow. Six shots of tequila, five beers and two gin and tonics later, I asked him whether he had a pair of clippers. Answering in the affirmative, he led me ba
Read more

Tram Recovery Vehicle

Last night I was walking along Queens Parade when along came an old green tram. I think it was of the kind that they refer to nowadays as "W-Class": like the City Circle trams, only green. The tram was going very slowly, heading along Queens Parade towards Westgarth. I began to worry for the tram, due to the huge hill just the other side of the Westgarth shops. I could just picture the tram chugging all the way to the top, only to slide back down again. Then I saw a truck coming along behind the tram. Unlike the tram, the truck was all white. On its side was painted in black letters: "TRAM RECOVERY VEHICLE". My first instinct was to ask why the truck was behind the tram instead of in front, pulling it up the hill. Then I saw the huge bulldozer style front bullbar on the truck and understood: the TRV's job was to push , as well as (presumably) "catch" the tram should it lose its brakes. Kind of like a parent pushing a child on a swing. Well, not rea
Read more